The Numbers Game

The numbers men throw around now days when bragging about sexual conquests are often astounding to the female ear. The typical range, in my own experience, tends be between fifteen and thirty, but I’ve heard figures going into the hundreds; and let’s not forget Gene Simmons, who claims to have bedded 4,600 lovely ladies.

We’ve all heard the locker room stories, seen the high-fives, watched as men engaged in what can only be described as an uncivilized bonding ritual over their shared pride in the number of women they’ve managed to lure into bed—hell, even the biblical king Solomon circa 970 BC had 700 wives and 300 concubines. The numbers game is nothing new.

However, the same can not be said for women. Research any queen from any era and you’ll quickly find that very few of them, if any, had more than one husband, and if she did have more than one husband, it was usually only because she divorced the chump (or was widowed) and subsequently remarried. Ever heard of a male concubine? Neither have I. Because they don’t exist and never have. Why is that? If men throughout history were granted permission, even by God himself, to sow their seed in as many different directions as humanly possible, then why were women not given a similar right to have multiple husbands, lovers, or male concubines? And why must a woman remain faithful to a man with 700 wives and 300 concubines when it’s not realistic that he’s able to satisfy even half of those women? That doesn’t seem very fair.

Thankfully, 3,000 years later, this double standard has been completely eliminated from our society, granting sexual equality to all genders, races, and so on and so forth…

Are you staring blankly at the screen yet? If you’re a woman you probably are.

Despite recent studies claiming that the sexual double standard no longer exists between genders, if you go spouting those findings to the average American female, you’re likely to get slapped in the face or find yourself trapped in her death glare. Findings schmindings—they mean nothing to the women living the sexual double standard every single day of their lives. Unless a woman was raised by a pack of wolves or somehow found herself a practicing nun before the age of eighteen, chances are, she’s been called a slut, a whore, or something equally as offensive, and often completely untrue. And I think I speak for all of woman-kind when I say we’re not wussies. If we can handle the pain of childbirth or the sheer agony of cleaning up after a filthy man—in more ways than just dirty laundry—we sure as hell can take a little bit of name calling; what is so enraging is being called those names by the same men telling the locker room stories and giving those nauseating high-fives we talked about earlier. If a man is unabashedly proud of the number of females he’s bedded, in what universe does it make sense for him to feel justified in judging a female for doing the same… or, if we’re to be honest, for doing far less? Because let’s face it, women just don’t seem to be as antsy to rack up the number of sexual partners they’ve been with.

Now, that’s not to say all men have this warped sense of sexual entitlement. Since the dawn of suffrage, along with all the feminist hoopla that followed, many a man have come around to value equality and the rights of their lady counterparts. Christian Walker of Memphis, TN had this to say on the subject: “It’s not always acceptable for men, and things are getting better for women in that respect. I think the problem lies in both men and women who feel they have to screw their insecurities away. Everyone’s self esteem is tied up in whether they get laid or not which is the real problem that creates people with ‘too many’ partners, if there is such a thing.”

While that sentiment is always appreciated, the highly evolved man is still a rarity, and even the most open-minded of the male species still falls prey to a double standard that’s been around longer than the Giza pyramids. It almost seems to be part of the male makeup, like excessive hair growth or the need to take over the world. More often than not, I find myself surrounded by men who appear to be of the belief that most women should be quietly standing on the sidelines with their legs closed, waiting for their future lovers to finally come around and quench their burning, but untouched loins. It should be noted that while these poor women lie in wait, said future lovers are off sleeping with any woman naïve enough to become another notch on a bedpost.

And it’s not just men abiding by the double standard. Women do it, too. We all see those ladies turning their noses up at women said to be promiscuous, but when those same ladies find themselves fancying a man notorious for whorish behavior, they make excuses. He’s not a slut; he’s just a man, and that’s what men do. Excuses tend to run dry, though, when there’s no phone call the next day.

I heard one man a while back laughing over this topic as he told me to count my blessings, adding to his offensive babble that “At least we (men) don’t really consider you (women) property anymore”. Don’t get my wrong, I do count my blessings and am thankful for how far we’ve come, but let’s not forget who gave us those blessings, good sir. It wasn’t you, or anyone sporting that extra appendage you hold so dear, so don’t act like you’ve given me some wonderful gift. You weren’t the one who decided it prudent to give women the same rights as men; you are merely forced to abide by laws former generations were forced to make due to all those pissed of ladies marching through the streets with their over-sized signs and un-shaved legs.

Unfortunately, just because men have been backed into a corner on the whole equality thing, it doesn’t necessarily mean they agree with it. After all, since the dawn of time, women have been under the thumb of men, living as property, as sexual slaves, as the inferior gender. It’s only been in the last century that women have put their manicured feet down and demanded the same rights, and that’s a lot of evolution to erase in just ninety years. In America, we’ve managed to rid ourselves of the more serious issues, I’ll admit, but the sexual double standard still prevails We just can’t seem to get past the belief that a woman is a slut if she uses her vagina as often as a man uses his penis.

So what now? How do we erase possibly hundreds of thousands of years of evolution? How do we get a whole planet on board with the notion that just because men are a little bit bigger, it doesn’t mean they’re better? It doesn’t mean they’re superior. And it certainly doesn’t mean they should be allowed to get away with the same actions for which they ridicule women! I don’t have the answers, but I know we’re on the road to change. I feel sexual suffrage in the air. The less evolved men can sit comfy for a while, but eventually, they’re going to have to get past subconsciously pining for the good old days when their many wives and mistresses were to remain faithful to only them, a time when women were not allowed to have but one sexual partner. We’re moving into the days when men will be forced to accept that women can think for themselves, that we have the capacity to be our own person, that we’re not mindless drones programmed to serve only one man; unless, of course, that man proves he’s capable of serving only one woman. Get it through your heads, guys—we are not property. We are not inferior. We are separate. And we are equal.

When it comes down to it, I guess that means that if boys can be sluts and whores and everything in between, then two can play the numbers game. If  you men want a virtuous, untouched woman, that’s perfectly fine, but you’re going to have to stop being hypocrites and set an example. But don’t you dare hold women to a standard that you don’t intend to hold yourselves to. That’s just shameful.

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